Seriously an email I just received on POF

Okay not only did this guy actually write this email....he looks like Richard Vadar...scary.

Born in Maryland but moved to florida at ago 7 lived here all but 5 years in virginia . All of my family live in tampa/palm harbor area of florida.What type of relationship ,I am looking for first a true friend leading up into long term relationship. And about my Marital status,that a very long but will give it a shot. First,my ex and I have NOT spoken sents nov 20,2009 due to fact she was charge with
DOMESTIC BATTERY against me ,we are still going thru the divorce process ,but the EX still has more legal issue against her include child walfare (d.c.f) are investigating her .She is living in our marital home up in Brooksville and stay with my Brother or parents down in Palm harbor till divorce is final plus its closer to work in north tampa I am a Lab manager for Lenscrafter .Also I have 3 children ,twin boys 12 yrs. ago and my daughter 10 .

what type of relationship are you looking for ? And hopefully if anything brother you or not interested you will tell me .
brian Mc**********
go*******@gmail.com
352-428-****

Hello woodwork thanks for calling

It's been a strange few days. I've been getting texts from the most random people I haven't spoken with in months. It's like they can sense I'm single again or something. I'll go over the texts from the past 48 hours.

Frank POF 26 St Pete Law: Aww you should. I'll be your st pete connection :) (New boy I met on POF who is an attorney he lives in St. Pete but works in downtown Tampa. I hold him I'm thinking of moving to St. Pete when my lease is up here in Tampa. I'm sure you'll hear his name again).

Adam The Woo: It needs to, can't wait to see how you'll suck my cock (oh Adam one of the boys coming out of the woodwork. We met on Inked Nation about a year ago. We've never met in person yet he thinks it's appropriate to send the most inappropriate texts about the things he'd enjoy doing to me/receive from me. I doubt we'll ever meet but it's kind of fun to hear someone be so blunt about sex.)

Bobby: Much much better today! Thanks for asking!!! (Bobby is from POF. We were supposed to meet for coffee a few days ago I was just too exhausted to hang out and asked to reschedule. I'm sure we'll meet eventually but I'm not in a rush. We've spoken on the phone a few times.)

Bill POF 40 Oldsmar: Good morning! (I'm really looking forward to meeting this one. We're going to get together Saturday evening. Can't wait to update about him).

Todd: Yeah you're good for like a week. (The ex...we hung out the other night. I'm a tard. Updates below)

Barret POF 25 game developer: Sweet dreams! (So cute. Met Barret on POF. We talked on the phone yesterday for an hour or so. I'm looking forward to meeting this one. He's so cute, sweet, nice. He says the cutest things. I'm sure you will hear more about him...soon)

Mr. Mark: Call u in a bit (He's a lost cause. He keeps apologizing for being self centered and then does it all over again. We spoke on the phone for like an hour last night and I may have said 20 words...no joke. I had him on speaker phone so I didn't have to hold the phone to my ear, had the phone on mute, talked with my roommate and played online...all while he talked, and talked and talked. He said he misses me. I didn't say anything. He was like I feel like a schmuck. He is).

Brett POF 33 Photograher: Right on. Sweet dreams. (So freakin hot this one. He's a hot mess of shit though. The chick he was dating died earlier this month. But he's so fucking hot I can't help but get into trouble with him. He's really good about following up with me through text and calling. He's good).

Derek Tattoo bar indian rocks: :) I heart aquariums...lol (I'm sure I'll eventually meet this one just not in a rush. We were talking about things to do on NYE).

Ray: Hey everybody! NYE. My house. Watch Clearwater beach fireworks. Drink a lot!! Haha. Have sum fun low key! Come on over if ur down bring a friend. (Douche bag. That's all I have.)

Tim Tatto: Boo! Lol! What's up? (woodwork man...he has a twin bed and transformers sheets...that's all I have to say about that one.)

Boy: Yo (still don't know his name...don't really care to. I'm not going to respond back).

Mike D.: Well if you're around tomorrow let me know (I dated Mike in college. He's an amazing person...although when we were together I thought he was gay. I was in Orlando yesterday and I was supposed to stop by and see him...but I didn't. I'm a horrible person.)


Soooo on to Todd. I was in Orlando for a shoot and we decided to meet up. I go up to the shop and we go out to dinner. It was nice and weird. He told me he's thought about us getting back together but that scares him because he doesn't feel like he knows me. I'm sure nothing will come of this but I went with it. I ended up spending the night. Yep sex followed. It was great but he goes FOREVER. Um...again I'm not sure what's going to happen there. I kind of would like to get back together with him and I kind of thing we both should just move on. We shall see.

Well it's NYE and I don't have anyone to kiss at midnight. I'm going to my sisters for a party at her house. Updates to come.

Hello Brett

Sooo last night I was on POF and I started exchanging emails with this guy Brett that I exchanged emails with a few months ago. He is freakin gorgeous. I mean 6'5'', incredibly handsome face, nice body. Meow. So we've gone back and forth with the email and he drops the someone close to me passed away this month...come to find out this someone is the girl he'd been dating for a couple of months. I almost fell over I wasn't expecting that. So I tell him I understand he's not looking for a relationship but that I can offer friendship. So he calls me and we chat it up for an hour last night. I don't think he's relationship material but we'll see where this goes.

He works construction during the day and does wildlife photography in his spare time. Again not sure he's good for a boyfriend but maybe to have a little fun.

We'll see.

Happy Birthday to Me!

It was my birthday today. Todd never said happy birthday to me. That makes me kind of eh pissed kind of annoyed. Mark texted me first thing this morning. He found someone else to go to the football game with him on Tuesday...that's awesome. That makes breaking up simple. Done.

So I finally called Bill from pof. He's the cute 40 year old guy that lives in Oldsmar. He sounded way more dorky on the phone then I expected but he was incredibly funny. We're trying to hook up on Saturday. We shall see.

Um...yeah that's all I have for now.

Too many text to keep up

Sooo I'm trying to break things off with Mr. Mark which we all know...I think I may have succeeded but we'll have to see. I've been less then available to him the past few days and I got a text from him today asking if I was still not talking to him. Then he called a few times. And another text with ???...so I think he's getting the point.

So since I'm over Mark I got back on POF...and my text box is filling back up with my men! I love it. The attention is addicting. So I thought I'd fill todays blog with the last text from the boys over the last 24 hours...

Adam POF 27 Palm Harbor CG Aviation: Ha Ha. What ya up too tonight. (notice the improper use of too...I will no longer be texting Adam)

Jamie: Happy Birthday!! I hope you have a great birthday and had a merry x-mas! (I turned 27 22 minutes ago...this text is from my ex Jamie...I don't think he's 100% over me but we've really worked on having a civil relationship over the past year...and for that I am greatful).

Tattoo Todd: What eves (This is Todd...as in the only love of my life...he came to my parents house last night to visit...I will get into this story in a bit)

Bill POF 40 Oldsmar: Just okay? Happy pre birthday kid (Bill is a new pof friend...we've been talking about a week online and via texting...he's funny and we crack each other up...I'm sure you'll be hearing more about him in the near future)

Mr. Mark: ??????? (Yeah I'm over it...can you tell?)

David pof 36 Tattoo Built: Hey there Andie it's David from POF just wanted to say hi. How was your Christmas? Are you still out of town? (He's really freakin hot but I'm sure he's going to turn out to be just like Mark...I can tell already...I haven't texted him back...I probably will tomorrow or Monday)

Bobby: Doing good...Just wanted to say hello and if your not busy call me later (ugh he used the wrong your that drives me freakin nuts...he's a pofer...we've talked on the phone once...I'll probably call him again tomorrow...see what happens...you may hear more about him in the near future...but I don't think he'll be a keeper)

Mike: I will be here til jan 2 plenty of time right? :) (Mike is a guy I dated in college...he's so sweet and just a great guy...I'm trying to see him before he heads back to Alabama...I hope to see him Tuesday after my gig in Orlando)

Ray: Come on! Show me sum love ! (Met Ray on pof and I told him I thought he would be great with my roommate...he accused me of pawning him off...turns out he actually knows my roommate...I think they've been talking I'm not sure I'll get the details when I see her tomorrow...we text but I'm not interested)

Boy: Merry christmas everyone (I met boy at a party last weekend...I don't even know his name...I wont be texting him anymore...he's young...I was drunk...enough said)

Jason Wood: Driving get on 75 north exit 32 michigan go right all the way down adams make a right first stop sign make a left islan gibralter michican (lmao...this is Jason giving me directions to his home in Michigan because I was supposed to be there Christmas morning under his tree...too freakin funny...this is my brother in laws friend...I've known him for a few years...he absolutely cracks my ass up)

Derek tattoo bar indian rocks pof: I know for sure new years, I haven't really received any more of a schedule yet but I will let you know. :) (cute tattooed boy I met on pof telling me his work schedule because he wants me to come grab a drink at his bar...I'm sure I'll meet him eventually and you'll hear his name again


Yep...that pretty much sums up the boys of the moment.

Okay not on to Todd.

He came over last night (Christmas) and we had a really nice time playing catch up. I'm still crazy about the boy. He makes the butterflies go crazy. We kissed when he left but I can't get my hopes up. I'll keep you posted on the Todd front.

Merry Happy Holidays

So it's Christmas and I have a bit of time on my hands so I thought an updated would be nice. I have been trying to break things off with Mr. Mark but it's not really doing as planned. I think he may be slightly retarded. I told him I didn't want to see him before he left for New Jersey because I just didn't care this anymore. He keeps texting me like nothing was wrong. He said he wished he would have seen me before the holidays but he's looking forward to seeing me when he gets back. Dood Mark I don't want to see you when you get back. I do not want to be your girlfriend...you suck as a boyfriend. Blah. Whatever.

So I went back on Plenty Of Fish and have had quit the response. I forgot how much fun it is to get lots of attention. I've decided to be much more selective this time around with whom I will actually meet. lol. Shouldn't we always be that way. I'll keep ya posted with the pof details.

I made a bet with my brother in law last weekend that I could go 90 days with no sex. I think I'm really going to attempt to do this. It's been 6 days. I feel fine. We shall see.

Okay off to play with the fam. Be back with updates later.

Fucking clueless...

Seriously clueless is all I have to say about Mr. Mark. The relationship is on it's last leg and should be over but he can't seem to get it through his fucking head that I'm over it.

So he pulled his I'm going to disappear shit again. But I was okay with it this time because I really don't care. I'm not interested in him anymore. I just had the most retarded conversation with him. So he called and was like hey I haven't talked with you in a few days (no shit I would have remembered). So then he's talking about how he's ready for his trip up north that he's not brining much because it's a short trip. Then he's like you're not mad at me are you? No sir I am not mad at you because I simply don't give a shit anymore about you. He was like well you want to come over tonight I'm just going to be watching the game. No Mark I do not want to come over tonight. I do not want to come over tomorrow night. I do not care to see you. But he truly doesn't understand that. I said Mark I just don't care about this anymore. He doesn't understand the relationship is over. My roommate said I'm going to have to spell it out for him.

How the fuck can I make it anymore obvious. I'm going to take him to the airport on Wednesday because I said I would and believe it's the right thing to do. But that's it. When he gets back I want NOTHING to do with him.

Are men really this clueless??? Fuck dood.

Okay off that horse.

I took my POF account off private today...had some responses...we'll see how this goes.

FUCK!

Holy crap it's been too long...

Okay so I've been offline for far too long and now I'm back!

Here are some updates.

Mark and I are still dating. I thought I was truly falling in love with him until he pulled shit like no other last weekend. He said he was going to meet me at his place in 15 minutes and then never showed up. I lost my shit. He was in a funk. I don't know things haven't been the same since. We went to a pub crawl on Friday night and I thought we were going to have a blast. So didn't happen. The crawl blew. So we ended up at the Green Iguana. We had a decent night...but got hammered. Then I picked him up form the Bucs football game. He was shit tanked. It was a funny night.

I posted an online ad and got several responses back but none of them sparked my interest to say anything to them. I'm not sure maybe I'm still hung up on Mark. We'll see.

I will be more proactive and write on here daily now that I'm back online.

He makes me smile

Mark got back from NJ on Wednesday. We went to Bar Louie for a few drinks. It was a great night...I really missed him. I met up with him aand his friend to watch the Bears game last night. That makes me happy. He's heading to Orlsndo for the evening. I'll see him Sunday night.

Man updates

So let's see...Mark is still out of town. He'll be back Wednesday. I miss him.

Um Blake is kind of pissed at me because I keep flaking on him...I'm going to call him tomorrow because we have a show on Friday. I feel bad but I'm must not interested in him. He's a super druggie and I'm not into that.

Fuck face wee little one Adam called me a cunt the other day. I almost fell out of my seat. Who says that. I told him to go away you never call a female that and expect to have any sort of future relationship. He keeps texting saying he's sorry. I'm over responding to him. Who says shit like that. And since I stopped responding he said see this is why I called you a cunt....seriously!?

I read the book Hope They Serve Beer In Hell...totally cracked me up. That tucker max is a total prick.

Fucking balls dood

So Mr. Mark is out of town and left me to watch his cats. So I unvited some of the girls over. Like most women I know they thought snooping was a brillent idea..lmr not so much. So whst did they find..lfucking hair glue. As in he has a bald spor and has fake hair. ew.

Men!

So it was a nice week.

Halloween dress up Friday night was super fun with Mark. He looked awesome as the Mad Hatter and I looked smokin as a pin up girl. I did kind of think he was talking to another woman and making plans with her but he assured me I was insane. I'm pretty sure I'm not insane but what the fuck ever. So the next morning we were having sex (the intimate kind not the nasty kind) and he freakin drops the L bomb, again. I about shit myself. Are you serious? I think everything is going awesome and you have to start that shit. I just froze. He said I love you and I said....NOTHING! I just stared at him wishing I were some place else. I feel kind of terrible now looking back at it but what the heck am I supposed to do...lie and say I love him too. Seriously who says I love you after two months anyway?! I haven't seen him since Friday night (it's now Monday morning) and he's heading out of town until Wednesday...A few days to figure this insanity out.

So Halloween night I went out with my sister. It was a fantastic time...we went to Hard Rock and drank into oblivion. As soon as we get there freakin Rich (used to date) shows up with his new lady friend. Yuck. How weird. I about fell over. My sister about fell over. But in the end it turned out to be awesome because the chick was a fucking dog. Ew. That made me happy.

And to top off an awesome weekend fucking Todd texted me again. Oh and he requested me as a friend on Facebook (good times). Kind of don't know how to take all this in. We texted last night for a good hour. It was fun but makes me kind of pissed because here I am now in this somewhat "awesome" relationship with a man who thinks he loves me and the only man I have ever loved is back. I mean I don't think anything will come of Todd and I texting. He and his girlfriend are on a break...what ever that means. I have to keep an open mind about this and know that he is not interested in starting anything he just needs a pick me up from a let down. And to be honest that is okay with me because I do miss him and just want him to be a part of my life...wow I'm not sure if that's super lame or kind of sweet right about now. Nothing good is going to come of this...I'm just saying.

do they sense this shit or what?!

Had the most fantastic couples day with Mr. Mark yesterday. We went Halloween shopping, had lunch, grabbed a drink, went to a movie, rrelaxed for a biit, went to dinner then had a nice evening. It was the first day I reaklly felt like a compatible relationship. I've been smiling all day. I'm srarting to let my guard down and potentially let the feelinggs thing happen.

So we just got off the phone for the evening and I have a fucking text from my ex Ass Hole Todd. The only man I've ever been in love with Todd. The guy I completely lost my shit over started to see a shrink Todd. Hejust texted to say hi. WTF is that?

Kind of want to throw up.

24 hours and singing a different tune.

So I was annoyed yesterday with Mr. Mark but knowing he just landed in Tampa makes me a very happy girl. I can't wait to see him tomorrow night. I have a big smike just thinking about his snuggles. He called me sweetie this mornimng which was a first. I love when the pet names start.

On a side note I called Blake back today and he didn't answer or call me back. My guess he's a bit pissed I didn't go out last night.

Ugh annoyed

So I'm kind of annoyed with Mr. Mark at rhe moment. He's in LA and I didn't hear from him all day except this morning when he woke up. I texted him at 5 and then again at 10:30 when I was going to bed. I think I'm so annoyed that it's 2 in the a.m. and I'm awake. He's even updated his facebook so I know he's sober enough to use technology. I feel like things are still too new to say I'm annoyed. I kind of wished I would have hung out with Artsy Blake. I may call Blake tomorrow and see if he wants to hang ouy. Lame.

L Bomb!

So Mr. Mark and I went to the UCF/UM game in Orlando this weekend. Had so mmuch fun. Met a few of his friends. we spent the night at his friends house. We really had a blast. We got shit tanked. At the bar I mentioned that a friend asked me to go to Halloween Horror Nights...he thought it was a great idea until he found out the friend was a dood. He said he didn't like that. I said good answer. :o) In a drunken mess he called me his girlfriend and then he started sayinghow he loves everything about me which then turned into "yeah I love you", Um...I froze. I actually just got butterflies in my tummy. Not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I adore the shit out of him so we shall see. He leaves for L.A. in the morning. Can't wait for him to get back.

A few days away..

So I'm spending the next few days out of town (at my parents last night heading to Gainesville tonight). It's good to get away from life for a few. Things with Mark are about the same. My friend Nick invited me to go to Halloween Horror Nights with him on Sunday night but I'm not sure if I should go or not...I'd be kind of pissed if Mark went with another chick...but I'm not sure if that's how he feels. I kind of want to ask him but at the same time I don't want to make things weird. Last night he asked me what I was going to be for Halloween...I thought our costumes were going to be a couples costume so now I'm super confused. He wants to go to some party in downtown Tampa...I'd like to go to my friends party in Clearwater...we'll see how that goes. I may just go to my friends without him.

Mark and I are going to the UCF/UM game on Saturday together in Orlando. I just so happened to be in the area for a wedding makeup on Saturday afternoon...so we'll see how that goes. I think I get to meet some of his friends. I guess this will help me decided what the crap is going on. If he just acts like we are friends around his friends I'm done with trying to make this into something it's not. I'll call it great sex with someone who likes to take me out to do fun things and that's it. I'll start hanging out with other doods at that point.

0kay we'll see what happens.

Too much thought...

Things with Mark are good...I think. I have no idea how to do the I think I'm in a relationship but not really sure but kind of want it but wouldn't be totally bummed if it ended tomorrow thing. Mark is in Miami for a couple of days with his friends for a football game. Of course since he's with the friends I wasn't invited because we haven't hit that status yet...I think. He met up with me and a few of my friends on Friday night after the U2 concert. I thought his friends and mine were all going to meet up at one place but that didn't happened...they "went home". Or so he says. Who knows. I kind of feel like the stray cat. What a horrible way to feel. I think it's like he really enjoys the company of me his stray but who really shows off a stray cat?? Nobody. I mean if people come over and see the cat that's one thing but you don't go out of your way to talk about it and certainly aren't taking pics and bragging to your friends about. That's how I feel. I was talking to my sister about it earlier...she said that if I knew what the relationship currently was that I wouldn't be interested any longer. Not sure if I agree...but I know I don't totally disagree. I mean I guess if he was throwing himeself at me and inviting me everywhere then I'd probably be over it. But since thre is still so much to learn about him and he hasn't shown me all his cards as of yet he still has my interst. Having amazing sex doesn't hurt either. Can I just mention how increadible the sex is...I mean wowzer. I don't think I'll ever date a younger man...period. Having someone older who has been with women and knows a womans body is fantastic. The fact that he has an insane body doesn't hurt either. I really can't keep my hands off of him. He's inspired me to start working out....I kind of have been slacking the past few days but I ran 10 miles on Thursday...I'm going to run for a bit tomorrow. Mr. Mark get's back from Miami on Tuesday...I hope to see him Tuesday evening becasue I'm heading out of town on Wednesday.

On a side note...I met a guy on a shoot on Friday. Super artistic, musician scruffy guy. Sexy big curly red hair, glasses, facial hair...kind of dirty. He was totally feeling it. He called me Friday night to see if I wanted to hang out but of course I didn't. I am thinking about giving him a ring tomorrow and see what's up...maybe meet up...not sure yet. I kind of feel like I'd be doing something behind Marks back but at the same time we aren't "in a relationship" so what the crap should I care. I don't have a clue what he's doing in Miami...who he's with etc.

Okay going to call it a night.

facebook status update

Miami was fantastic! Mark and I went and saw Zombieland on Tuesday night. The movie was okay but the time was great. We had an amazing wednesdaymorning. The sex is insane. So today we were having our usual texting fun. He asked me if I was going to change my status from single. I thought it was funny and awesome. So I changed it. We are supposed to meet up after the U2 show with Reese tomorrow...can't wait to see how that goes.

It's a good life.

I'm in Miami for the weekend with Mr. Mark. He's such a sexy bitch I can't handle it. We're in Miami for a few days. We drove down together Friday morning. We went out for drinks and dinner last night. He's absolutely fantastic. 9 can't keep my hands off him...I just want to fuck him non stop...so far so good on that front. Mr. Mark is at a football game right now...I'm at the hotel. I had networking event earlier. I can't wait until her gets back. Meow.

Tattoo Artists...what's the appeal?

I've been talking with tattoo Tim from POF. Today was the first day we texted. Got me thinking. I've been with three tattoo artists and counting...what's the appeal??

Mr. Mark is number one

So it was a fantastic weekend. Mr. Mark and I have decided to go to Miami together next weekend. I couldn't be more stoked. he's so cute. I went to his place last night...he was competely shit tanked when i got there. He went into a are we datin bit...which I thought was really cute. He said he's not dating anyone else and he just wanted me to know that. It was funny and cute. He's increadible in the sack...we went at it all morning today...ugh I want to go back over there right now.

I met FF Jack (fast and fruious) Saturday night. Je's so cute. If he lived closer I'd want to date him...but he's in sarasota so he's just going to be a friend for now. He has a bit of cash which is kind of nice.

Okay well that's all I got at the moment. Super excited for Miami!!

And I'm Back...

...not real sure why but I go mia from time to time.


Okay so let's start with Mr. Mark. He's so fucking hot I can't keep my hands off him. He was in Vegas over the weekend and was super cute via text. I think he may have some sort if relationship possibility but I'm not going to call it so soon. His texts were wish you were here. Just thinking about you thought I'd say hi. I miss you (weird...right?). And there were a few inappropriate ones along the way. He got back Tuesday morning. we went to dinner and watched a movie Tuesday night. It's fun and cute. I know I like him I'm just not sure what's going on between his ears. We're hanging out tomorrow night.

Okay met a guy from POF on Thursday...we went out of lunch. I almost fell over when we met. He was exactly what I always wanted to date before. He's tall, has tattoos, wears cute framed glasses, has style. We had a blast. We went out Friday to dinner and things started to get weird. we went to his places for a second and I think it was to "show" me off to his roommate. Then we went to his friends place that was a total shit box...like I never want to step foot in that place again. It smelled like cat piss and shit and mold. Ew. So he took me home and we had a some what forced on his part first kiss. It was a pretty decent first kiss. Left me wanting more. So we get together Sunday and it was all down hill. First of all he didn't wear his glasses or hat...and to be blunt he needed both. His face isn't all that attractive and he has scabs in his thinning hair from a skin disorder. fucking gross. I mean he should have waited a little longer before he grew the balls to show me that shit. He annoyed the shit out of me all day down to the way he stuck his tongue out to eat soup. I think I just threw up on my mouth thinking about it. Yuck. So he's out.

Went out Saturday night Jillian. It was some serious great times. for starters Chantel and he man toy met up with us for a bit and he was wowzer good looking. So I got to look at and from timw to time touch through out the evening. I met a hot Moroccan guy who was super interested (gave me his card and told Jill the next day to have me call him). My ex is Moroccan who turned out to be a liar and just an over all lunatic so I don't think I'll be calling him...we'll see. To finish off the dood happenings of the evening a friebds friend tried to hook me up with a client. Bad idea. Short, unattractive, possibly on drugs douche. That's all I got on that one.

So tonight I'm supposed to couger it out with Adam. I met Adam on POF imagine that. I sent him a message saying if I were younger I'd totally grab your ass...well Adam has been persistent ever since. So I may cave in tonight and go play with him for a bit. The low down...adam is 21 or 22, He lives with 3 roommates of the same age. Tonight he wants me to come over and play poker, rock band and maybe hit up a party in his complex...lmao...okay now that I say it out loud it sounds insane. There is no way I can hangout with him.

Okay well that's the sum of my man fun over the past week. Updates coming soon.

People really talk like this???

Okay so just checked my POF in box and this gem was waiting for me.

hi
I could fill these pages and still not describe how sweet and wonderful you are.
So fill them with your thoughts instead.
my lady
i am a male .......
i did not know a real meaning of a beautiful
and attractive for years ago.
but...........................
when i saw your eyes and your smile
i said the world is very very very very beautiful . ,

Um...yeah...ew

So I went on my lunch date with Daddy Kent yesterday. Not awesome. Not even close to awesome the only good thing that came out of this "date" ew I don't even want to call it that is I found a new awesome restaurant in Tampa (Bin 27 Bistro...yum!).

Fucking gross is all I can say. So on his profile Kent came off as a nice sweet artistic somewhat attractive guy. Kent turned out to be a freakin unattractive loser that still lives at home with his parents. For serious!? Yup. Ew I don't even want to waist my time talking about him...but I will. Here goes. So he said he was 5'10 on his profile he was at least two inches shorter then me (I'm 5'8). His photo on his page was what I refer to a luck photo...he lucked into a good angle with that one. He is fucking bald with hair that's like half an inch long on his head...weird. And he kept staring at me...it was weird. We really had nothing to talk about. He showed me his lame ass tribal tattoos that he designed himself on some lame computer program from the 90's. He said he was a musician on his profile then when we were talking he said his instruments and everything are in storage and have been for over a year...that makes you a non musician...an ex musician. He said he moved in with his parents so he could go to nursing school (yeah I said it...fucking wants to be a nurse)...but he's not going until next Fall as in over a year away. Fucktard.

Okay off that horse. I have a date with Mr. Mark tonight. I'm really excited to see him. Although I went out with Jamie and Mel last night and Mel had less then desirable things to say about him. She kept calling out his manicured eyebrows (it's cracking me up thinking about it right now)...she said he's a bit of a db...I'm going to go into tonight with an open eye looking for the douchebagery she was speaking of. I'm crossing my fingers that she's wrong.

Oh and Pool Boy Will sent me a text yesterday (first communication since our date). He said "Thanks for hanging out the other night. It was nice". Short to the point...I think we're going to shoot to hangout Wednesdayish.

POF Profile

No date last night...thought I'd share my plenty of fish profile...Going on a lunch date with Daddy Kent in a few hours. He's cute...probably a little on the too much baggage side of things but we'll see.

My hobbies...what a funny word. I get to play with my creative side with work...I'm a makeup artist. In my everyday life I enjoy the usual I suppose. I like to read, write, be outside, go out on the water, cook...I'm interested in learning how to play golf. I run a couple times a week...I'm not a super health nut, well I cook healthy for the most part...I just think I look better when run...so it's completely vain.

Goals well in a personal sense I would be happy to fall in love and settle down...it just hasn't been in the cards for me up to this point in my life. I have many dreams and goals for my professional life and spend time everyday working towards them.

What makes me unique...is that even something someone answers about themselves? I'm sort of off beat in a sense...I laugh at just about everything. I'm incredibly sarcastic and usually the first to say what everyone else is thinking. Quirky is a good word to describe myself...although someone recently told me that quirky is a bad thing...he lasted one date.

Taste in music...all over the place...is that a taste? I just did a shuffle on my ipod and here are the ten bands that came up...Lily Allen, Bayside, Cake, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Tom Petty, Phoenix, Bon Jovi, Anberlin, Of Montreal, Frank Sinatra. I think it's safe to say I like a little of everything.

Okay with the emails I've been receiving I think I need to put a little about what I'm looking for. I'm looking to date a man who is interested in working towards a relationship if the connection and chemistry is there. I'm looking for someone who stays active and fit but isn't obsessed with his body. Someone who is in a career and not just working a job. I date men who are taller then me (sorry short guys I know you need lovin too it's just not my cup of tea). I'm attracted to white guys with dark hair (not a requirement just usually what I find attractive). I'm not looking to be attached at the hip off the bat. Not sure if this will help but we shall see.

***lmao if you lie about your height on here you fall into my super lame category...what a girl isn't going to notice you're 3 inches shorter then you stated...lame***

***If you think your and you're or their, there and they're are interchangeable or you simply don't know when to use them properly your (;p) probably not the guy for me***

Hello Pool Boy

I walked in from my date last night and couldn't stop smiling. Pool Boy Will is fucking hot. He has the most insane body...huge arms, smaller waist, tight ass stomach...I could not stop looking at him. His face was super cute too, pretty blue eyes, facial scruff, big smile, straight teeth. I honestly didn't expect anyone online to look like him. Down side...he's a fucking pool boy (kind of hot in the sense of fantasy...which I do hope to fulfill...but not for serious I can't really dig him).

Okay so Will...he's a 26th year old father of a lying 9 year old boy and they both live with Will's father and step mom. Ew. I find this all out within the first 10 minutes...I swear if he didn't look like he does I would have thanked him for the coffee and his time and bailed out. But I couldn't. It was weird...I guess I now understand how guys can stick around dumb ass retard girls that are hot. It's this weird magnetic force...I really never understood it until tonight. I will never talk shit about smart fantastic men dating dumb freakin sluts...they truly can't help it.

So we ended up having a lot of things to talk about. He has super yummy tattoos, he's kind of jaded and doesn't like most people (I can play that personality well). We really do get along well...I can tell he thinks he's found a connection with someone...which is cool. I mean I will hang out with him again. I can't not. I mean he's this freakin hot pool boy (seriously new fantasy I cannot explain...okay I can explain it...Will) who is a bad boy...who is everything I'm not supposed to be dating. Ugh. I just want to touch him. He listens to hardcore metal...I just keep playing my version of what would happen if we fucked and it's way too hot and insane to describe. I mean loud crazy metal music, his hot sweaty body, my dirty mind...just ew yummy dirty probably illegal in some states fucking that I don't think I've ever really experienced....ugh I want to touch him.

See I'm sweating right now just thinking about it.

On a side note...Mr. Mark and I spoke when I got home. We're going to get together Sunday night for movie night and pizza. He's so cute.

Fucking pool boy.

Gotta love online dating

This is always a little awkward but oh so fun to share.




From: dkl****** (View Profile)
Subject: Holy freakin EYES!!! Sent Date: 9/10/2009 10:22:30 AM

What's up? I'm sure you're really attractive and what not, but looking at your profile, I think you'd be the coolest person to just chill with; what side of town do you spend your time on?



From: *****MUA (View Profile)
Subject: RE:Holy freakin EYES!!! Sent Date: 9/10/2009 2:27:18 PM

Hey I live in Tampa...near International Mall...so I play all over the place...pretty convenient. Yourself? I feel like I know you from somewhere...what's your name?



From: dk******* (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:Holy freakin EYES!!! Sent Date: 9/10/2009 6:25:40 PM

Uh ohhh....my name is David ********. I knew a girl that looked similar to you when I lived in Orlando; but that's as close as I get.
I really like that area; I came close to moving into Rocky Pointe. I never got to know the best places to hang out in; any recommendations the next time I'm over there?




From: *****MUA (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:Holy freakin EYES!!! Sent Date: 9/10/2009 6:46:11 PM

I lived in Orlando from 01' until 08'...sooooooo you know...I may know you lol. I moved to Tampa a couple months ago so I'm not really sure I know many things that go on here yet...but I'm learning. :)



From: *****MUA (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:Holy freakin EYES!!! Sent Date: 9/10/2009 6:55:57 PM

Did you ever go by the name Oscar?...or something like that?? Hung out with Bosco in Orlando years ago...worked at Carrabbas at some point years ago?? Tell me I'm right.



From: d********* (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Holy freakin EYES!!! Sent Date: 9/10/2009 9:35:21 PM

*******!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Holy shit! Get the **** out of here...Duhhh, I knew a girl when I was in Orlando, but uhhhh; I can't believe it!! I thought I was at Outback when I knew you, then you came to Carrabba's...I've been laughing for the last hour man. Call me if you want; (727) 271-****.

A second date with Mr. Mark

Went on my second date with a chunk of sexy hunk of man meat I like to call Mr. Mark. I want to start off by saying holy body batman. He is so incredibly handsome and his body is rock hard. Makes me want to hit the gym super hard for the next few months...meow. Okay...moving along. So we met at Green Iguana for a few beers...originally we were only going to chill for a few hours and I was going to go on my date but I decided to bail out on good ol' Blue Eyes Matt (who was super pissed at me...so that wont be going anywhere). So Marks friend comes up and meet with us and has a few drinks. I'm really anxious to see what he has to say about me...he kept looking at me and I tried to be engaging in their conversation...sooo again we'll have to see. So Mark and I stayed around the Iguana for a few hours, then we went and had some sushi (take two) and then off to his house so he could get his fantasy football draft picks. We had a really fun time...laying around watching movies and just chatting. Then the awesome yummy super sexy second kiss happened. Yup fireworks were present. And thank god for that...nothing ruins something sexy like a shit kiss.

So 2 o'clock rolls around and we've both kind of fallen asleep on the couch...so he insists that I stay the night. I'm thinking to myself there go all my new rules. lol But I'm happy to say I was sort of a good girl...aka I didn't bang his brains out even though it crossed my mind on several different occasions. So he's really cute, gets me a toothbrush, some soap, clothes to change into. So we cuddle all night...have a few kisses and that's that. We kind of got bad in the morning though...we couldn't keep out hands off each other...one thing led to another and oops my panties fell off...we did a little playing around here and there but no sex!

So I left this morning. We've texted back and forth a few times. I'm really interested in seeing where this whole thing leads us. I'd like to say I have hope in this but we all know my streak with men...so who knows.

I do have a first date tonight with Will The Pool Guy. Lol yup I go from clean cut freakin sexy as hell Mr. Mark to tatted up sexy as hell Will The Pool Guy. Updates coming soon.

A roommates advice...

Hi Hun!

Ok so I can’t text at work so I am going to e-mail.

I liked him a lot (Mr. Mark) and though that he was very respectful to you and to us which is a very big plus. I also think it’s a hard situation to meet a girls friends and I like how he did that with no fear and was really sweet. So overall I like him a lot.

I really want you to see what other kinds of guys are out there though because I think you’re selling yourself short. Don’t get too caught up with this one right now. Continue to go on other dates and play the field of dating. You need to see that there are guys that treat you like a lady, are respectful and make you feel beautiful that aren’t still living at home or work at the movie theatre.

I think the new dating Andrea should continue to keep dating around and not focus in on one boy for awhile unless one sweeps you off your feet.

I think you should delete Kelly, Rich and Stacey from your phone too. That means all texts and phone logs. J

Frist date with Mr. Mark

So I went on my first date with Mr. Mark last night. I met him on POF a few weeks back. We've been texting here and there and finally decided to meet up. I actually thought I was meeting someone else to start with but went back over my POF account and realized that who I thought I was meeting turned out to be someone else. Which was a major plus!

So we met at Bar Louie for a drink...we both agreed if we liked where things were going we'd head and grab a bite to eat. We did. Went and had some sushi. Then we left said out good nights. Found out my roommate was at Bar Louie so I went back to see her and Mark came back because he still wanted to hang out. :) We hung out for a few more hours...I could tell neither of us really wanted to call it a night but in better judgment we did. We had the weird awkward first date first kiss thing...it was weird. I always want first kisses to be super yummy and they always end up being a total mess of shit. I hope we get a redo this afternoon when we meet.

Okay about the man...yeah I said man and not about the boy. Mark is a 35 year old man that lives in downtown Tampa. He doesn't have any children and hasn't been married but was engaged when he was much younger. He's incredibly handsome with dark hair, dark eyes and a body to die for. I mean yummers! We seem to have a bit in common but not everything by any means. We established we both like horror movies, sushi, vodka, sporting events and all the other bla bla blas we could come up with.

We're meeting today around 5 for happy hour and then off to our own separate dates with other people. This is not stated by either of us but it's a Wednesday at 7 o'clock and we're both busy hanging out with "friends"...I don't think so that's a total date day and time. Sooo we'll see how things go.

Side note I was supposed to meet up with a photographer I've worked with in the past for drinks last night. I thought it was going to be a business drink to discuss projects he has coming up...today he left me a message on facebook asking why I missed our date. SO NOT A DATE IN MY BOOK!

Oh and Kelly is still texting me (speaking of first kisses...best first kiss in a long time...so good we had sex). He seems interested (probably because of the sex thing) and then not so much (probably because of the sex on the second date thing) so I have no idea what's going on with him. I do like him very much...but I feel it's not going to go anywhere.

Okay woohoo for Mr. Mark...let's see where this leads. Going on a date with Matt Blue Eyes tonight...I think...I haven't heard from him in a few days but I think we're still on.

Eww Debbie downer

I was a happy chickie last time I wrote. Okay well here's where I'm at now. Single.

So I'm back online...joined PlentyOfFish.com. So far it's been pretty cool. I've met two people off of it...three more dates lined up this week including tonight. The first guy I met was Kelly. He was freakin adorable, sexy, meow. He had tattoos, in a band, owns a recording studio. He was perfect...except I decided to sleep with him on the second date...I'm learning this is kind of a bad thing. Guys don't respect you if you do...my mom is so smart. So I'm pretty sure things are fucked with him...but hey it's all about learning and that's what I'm doing.

The second guy I met is a hopeless mess of shit. His name is Adam but he goes by his radio name Woj...such a douche. I mean he's really sweet and he means well he's just a total awkward mess. He talks a lot about himself and he's done everything in the world...lol...that's what he says. He was shorter than what he said he was, balding like woah, kind of chubby, and weird.

My roommate says I date doods out of my league in the wrong direction. We had this talk again the other day. I was talking with a good friend about it and she totally agreed. She says I have too many complexes I need to get over.

So tonight I'm meeting a guy. I've been calling him Mark but I think I just found out his name is Mike...OOPS! Let you know how that goes.

Down kind of day

I've been having a depressing down kind of day. I'm going to blame it on my monthly lady friend. I haven't spoken with Rich since yesterday (in a text). I feel like maybe things are going to the shitter already. Kind of makes me sad. Kind of makes me happy. Kind of reinforces my thoughts on any sort of relationship. I thought maybe because most of my dating has been online that that was why I was just burning through men but I'm starting to realize maybe I just don't have what it takes to be a girlfriend. I went online to get a pick me up. Yup I think I'm addicting to attention. I met a guy he's cute. His name is Jeff. We'll see how long it takes to burn through him. I wish Rich would call. Today is Tuesday our shitty movie night and he's not here. I wonder what he's thinking or if he has even thought about me today. My roommate says I shouldn't make contact with him that I should have him call me...but I don't think that's going to happen. He has a big race this weekend so I'm not even going to get to see him...means if he doesn't come over tomorrow then there's not me and him time for over a week...balls.

Okay that's all I got. I feel like Debbie downer.

No more chubbies for me!

Why does great sex make the day seem a little brighter??

So I've decided I'm giving up chubby doods. Up until the past few months I've dated nothing but the chubbies...a true chubby chaser at heart. But after dating a few fit and/or not chubby doods I've decided it's the way to go. A good friend of mine recently asked me why I always date bigger guys...after a big of thought I came up with "because I look skinner next to them...I'd rather people say why is she with him rather then why is he with her". She told me I was insane that I wasn't even remotely fat and that she doesn't know a single man that would make me look bad. What a good friend she is for saying that. Anyway the conversation has been replaying in my head over the past few days. I am no longer going to do the fatties (okay maybe one here and there but not on a regular basis. I find that I go to the guy more often, eat healthier and feel over all better about myself when dating a man in shape.

An example is Rich has a race in a couple of weeks and mentioned last night that he needs to run an hour or more every day until the race. After he left this morning that played around in my head for about 10 minutes and the next thing I knew I was at the gym doing cardio.

I am a reformed chubby chaser.

And then there was one...for now...

So I starting talking to Uriah about the same time I started talking with cat boy...but didn't put too much in because I thought I was going to dig cat boy. Okay so we all know that went to shit before it even started.

He's this super cute, sweet, artsy, kind of emo kid. He's a few years younger then me but we really click. We texted for about a month before we even met. We talked on the phone a few times. He's really something special. He has lots of tattoos which is always a bonus for me, has his nose pierced, he works out and has an incredible body. He's smart, funny, a little off beat like myself. Did I mention his insane eyes. My goodness they are gorgeous! So we met at the mall had some Starbucks then went to a show we both had been wanting to see. Drege was amazing. I really had an awesome first date with him. We went downtown after the show and saw his friends hardcore band play. Again had such a great first date. Totally crushing.

We went out a couple more times. To the movies. Out to dinner. Just random hanging out. We had a really nice time. I really thought I may like to date him exclusively...that is until I met Rich.

I met Rich at my brother-in-laws birthday dinner. He didn't show up until later and Matt (my brother-in-law) said Andie I have a guy coming tonight that I know you are going to like. You are going to be into my boy. Yeah yeah Matt I'm sure. So Rich and his friend show up. I see him come in but he sits on the same side of the table of me and I can't really see him. When we get up to leave...meow! I thought holy wow this guy is something. He has tattoos, piercings, and a great smile. So I play it cool and chat with him and his friend. By the end of the night we exchange numbers.

He comes over a few nights later for shitty horror movie night. We are cute and flirty when he gets there. It takes us an hour or so to get comfortable. He cuddles with me while we watch the movie. We kiss. We play a little. We fuck. Yup I skanked it out way fast. It was a lot of fun. We've been hanging out now about a month. We have a lot of fun together. He's actually coming over tonight...we are going to see Area 9. I seriously cannot keep my hands off of him.

Meow.

Cat Boy

So I haven't learned my lesson with online dating and decided to go back for more. I met John on criagslist.com. I posted an ad looking for a creative guy, bla bla bla. So John responds...his version of creativity is that he is a cobbler...yeah they're still around fixing shoes (something I did not know until I met John). So we e-mail back and forth a few times and then exchange numbers. He seems really fantastic...truly. We talk for a week on the phone getting to know each other. He's really funny, his pictures are so cute and we seem to have a lot in common and yet are nothing alike. Which is a good thing. (He got his nickname cat boy because my roommate came home one day while we were on the phone. She said she didn't realize I was on the phone because I didn't say anything for 30 minutes. She wanted to know what was soooo interesting that he was talking about...my answer...his cat.)

So after a week of talking and what not we decided to meet. We went to the Improve for comedy survivor, then we went to Game Works and we finished with a movie "Public Enemy". On paper it sounds like a great date...and I did have a lot of fun with what I was doing just not with the company.

So let's back up...I arrive in Ybor and parked in the garage. We meet a few blocks away and he just starts in with the ooohh let me see you. I need to take this all in. You're so much sexier in person then in your pics which I didn't think was possible (he was mystalking me...forgot to mention that over the past week while we were getting to know each other he told me he kept going on my myspace looking at my pics...a lot...creepy). So he wipes the drool off his face and I realize he has brought me a present. So we sit down in the courtyard next to the Improve and I open my gifts. He individually wrapped like 10 different little gifts..everything from slippers, to shoe supports, to a mood ring, to emery boards, to gum...just lot's of random and weird shit to give a chick on a first date. So I thank him for being so thoughtful. And he busts out the damn camera. Yup 10 minutes into meeting each other he's taking pictures of us. I should have left then but no I stayed around.

So we go into the Improve. We had a drink at the bar (me a beer him a soda because he doesn't drink...I'm talking AA style here). After our drinks we go inside and get out seats. We order some food. The show starts. Our food comes. He makes me a plate. What? Is that normal? He literally put a little salad, some chips, some chicken, etc. from the main dishes onto my plate. Who does that?!? So I eat my fixed plate, watch some funny people, watch some not so funny people. Had a good time minus the company.

So we leave the show and go to Game Works. An "adult" arcade...so an arcade with booze. We play a few games and then we come to a zombie killing games. I may or may not be kind of obsessed with zombie/horror genre anything...so I start killing zombies. As I'm killing zombies he busts out the camera again and starts taking pictures of me...I don't like it at all. I stop killing zombies and we leave. We see Public Enemies. During the pre-views some Hasidic Jews come on the screen and I mention that I have a fantasy about them. Not sure why I felt the need to divulge this information to him but I did. You'll understand why I'm mentioning this in a few.

So he walks me to my car and we say good night with a hug. Before I even make it home he calls to make sure I made it home. I said I'm just pulling in can I call you in a few...he says yes and asks if I looking back into my presents (I had no intention of ever looking into the bag again...and just toss it after my roommate got a kick out of it). So I get inside and I check the back. The douche had put three cards inside. One said good, one said bad, one said really bad. Each one being how the date could have gone. Total douche. Not even funny just lame. The really bad one said sorry for leaving when you were in the bathroom. The bad one said it was nice meeting you I can see us being friends. And the good one was the worst. It was two pages talking about how great of a time he had, how he couldn't wait to fall in love with me...and more and more weird shit. WHAT!? We went on one date!!!

So I spoke with him the next day for a few minutes. He told me he went online and bought an Hasidic Jew costume online. Then he mentioned he looked into finding an uncircumcised dildo!! I seriously can't make this shit up.

I never spoke with Cat Boy after that conversation.

Gross.

Let's Play Catch Up

...doubt it was right.

Stacey turned out to be a total ass. The first dood in my experience to get it and leave. Seriously until Stacey I never had a guy fuck me a never call again. Okay Stacey wasn't that harsh but he went from I'm getting older, I don't have anything to offer a woman but my heart, I really like you Andie, you bring out a side of me that I haven't seen in a long time, you crack me up, bullshit bullshit bullshit.

So we hang out a few times I fuck him against my roommates better judgment and that was that. We talked for about a month after it but didn't see each other even once. He was always "out of town" or "really busy at work, but he really couldn't wait to see me again". So finally stopped returning his texts and that was that.

Since Stacey I have met some interesting fellows. There was cat boy (John), Emo boy (Uriah), Creepy (Joe) and hot stuff (Rich).

Could it be?....

...doubt it.

So I met this absolutely fantastic man named Stacey on Match.com on Sunday. I actually signed onto Match to cancel my subscription...which I did. But I figured I have 5 days left before it ends so lets see what one here. By that evening I had many emails in my box, several winks and a few IM's trying to come through. I sifted through the mess and found a few potential doods I thought could be fun to talk with. One I found was Stacey. I go on his page and he's so handsome, funny, to the point. He emailed me I emailed him back and that was that. We exchanged emails for an hour and then moved to IMing. We IMed for hours...he's so funny, charming, really fantastic. I cannot believe I'm making a connection like this in just a few hours. So when signing off for the evening (around 3 am) he asked if I would join him for a cocktail tomorrow (Monday). Um..YES. So I agree to meet him and that's that. We texted back and forth a few times through out the day and then evening came and I'm driving out to see him. I'm so nervous the entire time out...he's quite different from anyone I have been interested in before. First off he's a bit older then me...he's 39 (I'm 26), he's British, he has a big boy job and is successful with it. Driving over I'm pretty sure this isn't going to work out...what on earth does a successful charming good looking man want with a head in the clouds twenty something artist that can barely cover her rent (because she's irresponsible and enjoys shopping far too much).

Okay so I pull up. I text him letting him know I'm there and he comes outside. I sit in my car for a few touching up my makeup and talking myself into going in. So I get out and walk up and he's even more handsome in person. He's so cute, dressed nice, great physique, and sexy as hell accent. (He tells me he about fell over and thought for sure I'd be leaving within an hour) So we go in I order a beer and we start to chat. It's pretty comfortable at first, I mean I still have butterflies and I'm a bit quiet at first but within an hour we are laughing, chatting and having a truly wonderful time. I mean we have so many things in common it's insane. He loves cheesy B horror movies, he's afraid of midgets, he has a dry sarcastic sense of humor, he has an incredible smile, beautiful blue eyes. We just click. I mean seriously how on earth could a man like him and a girl like me have anything to talk about let. We go on and on and on. Before we know it the bar is closing (3 1/2 hours later!). So he walks me to my car and we're saying good night. And he makes the move and kisses me. WOW. I MEAN WOW. I couldn't stop kissing him. Oh the way his lips touched mine...the way he touched me...I'm loosing my mind. So this wonderful fantastic mind blowing kiss lasts an hour. We sat in the parking lot like two teenagers just making out. It was truly the best first kiss I've ever had. So we finally decide it is time to call it a night and we say good night for real.

I make it home and texted him to let him know. He sends a few sweet texts and that was the night. So the next day (yesterday) he flew up to Boston for work. He's going to be there until Friday evening. We texted for a few hours last night. He's really something special. I cannot believe I feel like this for someone so quick. I feel like a little school girl. So we shall see where this goes. He gets back Friday night. We're going to have a movie night at his place. I'm really looking forward to it. So lets see where this goes.

<3

Texting a stranger

So I go out a few weeks ago with my sister, her husband and friends. We get a little shitty at one of my favorite watering holes and I start flirting my ass of (or I've heard). So I wake up the next morning to "Hey Andie I hope you made it home safe. Have a great night. Curtis from the Beer Garten". Huh??? I hadn't a clue who Curtis was or that I had even given my number out. So my sisters husband thinks he's solved the mystery. He's like dood Curtis is the fat kid you were talking to. I was like really the bald one with the beard thing wearing that one shirt. Yeah that's him. I was like really Matt are you sure. He assured me yeah that was him that we talked for a bit and I gave him my number. Okay I thought what the hell let's play. So I text him back. We go back and forth for a few days once or twice a day. Kind of flirting but not over stepping any boundaries. So about a week later I go up to another local favorite Mollys. About an hour after bellying up to the bar guess who walks in. CURTIS! The fat kid from the other bar from last week that I've been texting. So I send him a text "Hey are you at Mollys?". I know he saw me. He looked me right in the face. No answer. :( So as I'm leaving an hour later I text "Boo on you minus 15 points!". I couldn't believe we were in the same bar and neither of us spoke. I saw him looking at his phone so I know he got the text. So the next morning I wake up to a text that says "Hey that's not cool...I was in Tampa last night what's Mollys?". LMFAO...Wait a second...so Curtis isn't the fat kid I thought it was. In fact to this day I have NO IDEA WHO CURTIS IS. We text once a week maybe twice but I haven't a clue who I am texting. Weird.

Skank it out

Okay so I've been on a few dates with Mr. Nice guy from last month since I've been back in Florida. I figured he helps pass the time away and I didn't want to start something new with anyone before I headed to New York. So a little back story we met online...I know image that with me. So we've been dating for a couple months usually hanging out like once a week. He's the typical guy I date when passing the time...tall, chunky, artsy, into music...total stereotypical dood for me. Since we were dating only here and there the past few months we never slept together...in fact prior to last week we didn't do anything but kiss randomly. Okay so we hung out last week and things go hot and heavy the first night...I mean me super happy super horny but decided we better hold off (I didn't expect anything to happen that night so I wasn't groomed as I'd like to be). Okay so I put it off until the next night. I go to his house he's having a bbq...I chill with his friends everything is amazing. Like I'm seriously starting to dig this dood and think maybe I should clue him in on the "Hey I'm moving to New York" thing...so we get into things that night and ___________. Smallest fucking cock in the history of small cocks that have entered a vagina. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing...we're talking Vern Troyer scale. I couldn't fucking believe it. Seriously! I've put in a couple months with the guy and started to really dig him in the last 72 hours and then this. I was speechless for a few days...like I couldn't process what I had just experienced.

So with that said I learned a huge lesson...skank it out...period. At least a blow job a couple dates in so you know what you're getting in to. It's way easier to bail on someone a few dates in rather then after a few months have passed.

Back in FL

Made it back to Florida Tuesday. Going out with Rich tonight...rich is Mr. nice guy from last month that wont go away...I found out Mr. sucks in bed is back with his ex so I need a pick me up...sounds bad but whatever.

Okay so back in New York two nights before I came back to Florida I met up with some old friends from high school. Lots of booze and many hours later I find myself swapping spit like crazy with one of my best guy friends from high school. Super weird...but whatever went with it. Woke up the next morning hurting pretty bad...We ended up spending the entire next day together but only as friends. He even apologized for thinking that he wanted to fuck me the night before. I thought that was sweet being Dave and I would never ever hook up in a normal situation.

Anyway we pretty much spent my best day in NY together. We spent all morning and most of the afternoon sitting on his fire escape pondering life, expressing much pity for everyone going about their normal lives trying to make something happen when life was truly about how we were spending our day. We headed back to the city and took a nap at my hotel. When we woke up we walked to central park and spent a few hours drinking champagne, people watching and of course discussing life. We ended the night with a burrito and the smelliest bar I have ever stepped foot it.

All in all my trip to NY was fantastic...had a few wonderful man moments.

Not really looking forward to tonight at all but he's been nagging me for weeks about not hanging out and I could really go for some attention. I'll keep you posted.

The wrong one always texts

So why is it when I want Mr. right now to text Mr. last month texts? It feels like a punch in the balls when I get the little vibrate sensation on my back pockets and I know fir sure it's Mr. right now texting to say hello or good morning and it turns out to be Mr. nice guy from last month that you just can't shake off. Sure it's nice that someone is thinking about you but for fucks sake why can't it be Mr. right now!

Moving to the big apple time to start writing again

I'm moving to New York City June 15th. I've decided to return to writing and get back to this blog. With that said.

So I met a guy on a cruise back in February...we had a one night fling (no sex at that time). So now I'm in New York looking for a place to live and a job. He lives in Long Island so naturally we decided to meet up a couple days ago.

We had a great time. He's really funny and sweet. He's kind of tough but in a good way. He's tall, thick, has tattoos, plays base, he's a chef and a bartender. He's pretty much everything I've always dated. I thought we hit it off really well and I'd like to have a second date but the sex was a mess. He's kind of on the small size and didn't really seem to know what he was doing down stairs but I'm going to chalk it up to the first time nerves and being kind of drunk

Okay well I hope to see him again in a few days. I'll be back with updates...


Oh and on a side but funny embarrassing note...I was super shit housed the other day and meant to text Brandon (the Long Island boy) a dirty text but sent it to my mother..."I want to put your man parts in my mouth"...yes I sent that to my fucking mother...good times.

You met him where!?

With my new status change it's natural I would start thinking about where to and where not to meet the next Mr. With that said I came up the 10 worst places to meet a guy.

Top 10 worst place to meet a guy.

Backstage at a drag show (unless you’re a fag hag)
The card isle the day before Valentines Day (unless you enjoy being the other woman)
A biker lesbian bar (no dick in sight)
A stip club (unless you’re working…then of course it’s time to bank)
The martinety ward (do I really need to make a comment about this one)
Retirement home (ew)
A frat house (at any age)
Family Reunion (unless you’re into deminted babies)
The drunk tank (you both obviously make bad choices…dating each other shouldn’t be one)
Rehab (again with the bad choices)

I'm interested in hearing others such places.

Phew...glad that's over.

It was a little scary to break up (like the apprehension a child has about a ripping off a band aide)...I didn't think I wanted to do it but knew once it was over (off like a band aide) it would be the right thing to do...and it was.

It's nice to have peace of mind. I slept better last night then I have in months.

Bored, Annoyed, 10 pounds heavier

About me: I’m a twenty something female that has been dating on and off (okay always on in some form) for the past decade. I’ve been in and out of one long term relationship after another for the past 3 ½ years and have decided today enough was enough! I’m over long term relationships that aren’t going anywhere. I’m going to reclaim myself as a human being and start to do my life for me…period. So what does that mean…well for starters I need to breakup with the current Mr. in my life (I will get to him in a few). This doesn’t mean I’m swearing off dating all together it actually means the opposite I’m going to date but nothing too serious. I’m going to be selfish. I’m going to date like I did in college. I’m going to have fun. Yup that pretty much sums it up I’m going to have fun and stop trying to please someone else. So here I am ready to do it. I’m going to break up with him…next week. I honestly couldn’t have chosen a worse time to break up with someone….his birthday is tomorrow and Valentines Day is the following day. And to top it all off we have plans to head out of town in two weeks to spend time with his family. What the crap!? Okay this is where I tell you a little about Blake.

How we met: Online. Yup and not like normal people online with match.com or chemistry.com nope we met on craigslist.com. Yes that craigslist, the one with prostitutes and pedophiles. Now how did that happen? Simple, I think, CL ads crack me up. They are fun to scrolls through. They pass time when procrastination is at the top of my list. So one day I come across his ad. I think what the hell let’s play around with this. So I email him. We went back and forth a couple of times over the next few weeks (I think this is a good point to mention that I’m actually in a different relationship when I first start emailing Blake…a relationship that still puzzles me to this day. I was dating a 32 year old douche bag that still had dreams of making it in the music industry…the hard core screamo lead singer kind of dream…but didn’t do anything to actually pursue these dreams he just dreamt about it. Needless to say it wasn’t until after we broke up that everyone…seriously every single person that met him…said they couldn’t stand him and never understood the attraction).

The whirl wind: Okay back to Blake. So we decide to meet at a local Starbucks (original I know). I walk in (10 minutes late…oops) and there is Blake in his pink button up long sleeve polo shirt and his khaki shorts. Jesus what have I agreed to! He didn’t look anything like this in his photo. He was clean shaven and look a way more straight laced then I had imagined. But being the respectful person I am I decided to stay and have a cup of tea. So for the next hour or so we sat and he talked. He talked about his family, his recent move to the area, his job and anything else he could come up with to say…letting me say little might I add. But for some (desperate) reason I stayed and actually agreed to meet with him again. What the hell was I thinking? Okay time to be honest I knew what I was thinking…oooo my parents are going to love him. They are going to see that I (their tattooed, black hair dying, starving artist, dreamer of a wild child daughter) could pull this type of tail if I wanted to (which I now know I don’t). I’ll be honest it was kind of fun here and there (he always found the most interesting and super yummy restaurants to take me to) along this short path but there were many warning signs when I should have abandoned ship. For starters after two dates he started asking me what he should call me and if he could change his myspace status (LMFAO…this is where I mention he’s a few years younger then me…I swear I was gluten for punishment). Warning sign number two…he felt uncomfortable having sex during the day and he thought oral sex was degrading to women (which he oddly enough never turned down). I understand he was born and raised in the bible belt but for fucks sake it’s the 21st century! Warning sign number three…he was super anal. He would freak out if I lay in his bed during the day because that meant the comforter was messed up and anytime I remade the bed it wasn’t up to his standards?? I once took the comforter into living room because we were going to watch a movie and he flipped his shit like nothing I had ever seen. Warning sign number nine hundred thirty five (the one that broke the camels back)….he threw a hissy fit when we accidentally ended up in a lesbian bar one night. Let me set this up for you. My girl friend Sam, her boyfriend, Blake and I went out for wings and drinks one night at Hooters. After an hour or so we decided to go to another bar. After much driving around and no decisions being made I said let’s go to that one bar we always pass by “Hide Away”. When we get there Blake is still bitching up a storm about how he does not like hole in the wall bars and that he doesn’t feel comfortable going in. He goes in, with the rest of us. After I order a round I turn around and realize (what everyone else already became aware of) we’re in a lesbian bar. Not five minutes there Blake storms out of the bar because he feels uncomfortable. He swears everyone is looking at him and they don’t want him there. What?!

Here I am four months later in this situation. Bored, annoyed and 10 pounds heavier. So I ask you…should I break up with him immediately after the weekend or do I hold out and go on the trip I’ve agreed to go on?