Down kind of day

I've been having a depressing down kind of day. I'm going to blame it on my monthly lady friend. I haven't spoken with Rich since yesterday (in a text). I feel like maybe things are going to the shitter already. Kind of makes me sad. Kind of makes me happy. Kind of reinforces my thoughts on any sort of relationship. I thought maybe because most of my dating has been online that that was why I was just burning through men but I'm starting to realize maybe I just don't have what it takes to be a girlfriend. I went online to get a pick me up. Yup I think I'm addicting to attention. I met a guy he's cute. His name is Jeff. We'll see how long it takes to burn through him. I wish Rich would call. Today is Tuesday our shitty movie night and he's not here. I wonder what he's thinking or if he has even thought about me today. My roommate says I shouldn't make contact with him that I should have him call me...but I don't think that's going to happen. He has a big race this weekend so I'm not even going to get to see him...means if he doesn't come over tomorrow then there's not me and him time for over a week...balls.

Okay that's all I got. I feel like Debbie downer.