Incredibly awesome or cheesy...jurys still out.

So I went out with Joe last night. It was pretty much amazing...I think.

Okay so we started by meeting to run. I'm trying to be a runner...he is a runner. It didn't go all that awesome. Actually I felt like a fat kid next to him. I could barely run 1/4 mile before taking a break...and he was like oh 5 miles let's do it. Ugh. So I learned my lesson...stop being a fat fuck. lmao. Sooooooo fucking embarrassing.

Okay so after we ran we went back to his place. He cooked dinner, I took a shower, we ate, talked about shit, drank a few beers, smoked a bit of weed, headed to the beach. This is where the I'm not sure if it were cheesy or awesome thing comes into play. So we go out to the beach and chill. He brings his guitar and starts playing for me. He was incredible. I mean I've dated musicians in the past but nothing like this. He played his guitar and sang to me. It was seriously melt in my pants fucking fantastic. But it felt like he'd done this a million times. Like I could feel my panties dropping but I need to take a deep breath and realize what was going on because he was way too smooth at it. So we chilled on the beach. Talked... a lot. He played a lot. We laughed a lot. It was cool. We kissed but I felt like it wasn't the most amazing first kiss. Man I really wished it were. But then again had it been the panties probably would have dropped. Oh I forgot to mention while we were jogging we ran into a girl he went on a date with and she felt the need to say HELLO...loud and clear. So he had to tell me story with her. He deleted his POF account last night..which kind of makes me think he may really like me but at the same time make me think he's nuts...um crazy pants Kyle did the same thing. We shall see.

I really am at a loss for words about last night. No idea what to think. I mean I was like holy fuck me this is awesome. He's incredibly cute, can sing like a god, plays guitar...like personal concert. Kind of like John Mayer or Jason Maraz thing going on. It was too hot. But then again he has no money and works a shit job that doesn't pay him much. I feel like music is where his heart is...and I truly believe he's good enough to do something with it but not sure if that happens in real life.

I'm going to the movies with Andrew tomorrow. He's an incredibly hot musician I met on POF. He's talk, dark and handsome. I'm sure there will be something wrong with him. Going to hand out with Stacey on Monday. I'm thinking Joe Monday evening...he wants to go see some horror movie. I don't know...we'll see.

Ugh. I love and hate dating.

crazy pants

So Kyle turned out to be a total psycho. After a week of dating he asked me if I was worth the risk. And then he posted all over facebook about how he doesn't know if the risk he's dealing with is worth the return. I don't know it totally rubbed me the wrong way. Then I was busy and he started calling me crazy because I couldn't get back with him right away. I don't know that went to shit real quick. He started texting me crazy shit like he's not just looking for a fuck buddy and that he wants someone mature who can deal with feelings. I don't get it. But I guess it's good he showed his true colors off the bat. I cannot do crazy.

I did meet a new guy from POF Joe. He's a lot like me. Smart, funny, a little odd, smokes pot occasionally, plays music. He's adorable. We'll see what happens with him. Our first date was at Bahama Breeze. We had a few beers (I actually paid for my half which was a bit odd...but worth it). Then we went and smoked a bit. It got weird but that's because we were hella stoned. We've talked on the phone a bit since our date. We are going running together Friday evening...then we may go chill on the beach or something. We'll see.

I met Chantels friend Sean yesterday. He's so fucking annoying. I really don't want to see him again beyond a friend level. SOOOOO ANNOYING.

Okay that sums up the men of the moment. I'm supposed to see Mark this evening but I may just stay at my moms house tonight. Oh and I'm going on a date with George tomorrow evening. He's been after me for over six months now. I figure I'll give him a try.

:)

Things have been going well with Kyle. We have a dinner date this evening. He's really sweet...but I'm not sure if I'm ready to be a one guy kind of girl. We'll see how this pans out.

Mark keeps texting me. I got I miss you yesterday. I told him I'd call...but then I didn't. I hope he gets the hint.

I'm possibly meeting a guy from POF for coffee in the a.m. He's from Sarasota and in town for the weekend. I'm heading to Orlando tomorrow so I'm hoping coffee works out. I'll be in Sarasota for work on the 7th so I may end up seeing him then.

That'll all I have at the moment.

Oh men crack me up

No idea what to do about Mr. Mark. He's a fucking retard. I've told him over and over I'm not interested in being in a relationship with him. So I get a text from him today saying that when I get back in town we need to spend more time together. Maybe go on vaycay. Seriously...I'm going to have to be a bitch.

Spent last night with Kyle. He cooked me dinner, we watched movies, chatted. He's a good one I tell ya. I'm sure I'll screw it up or get bored.

Side note. Men like to take photos of their cocks and send them a pic mail. Two cocks one day. Too funny.

Hello Kyle

So I met Kyle from POF last night. Much better looking in person then his pictures. I refer to him as the average guy. He's 40, tall, chubby and cute. He owns his own scuba store where he sells scuba gear and certifies people in scuba. Kind of odd being I don't go in the water. We had a really nice time. He's so incredibly funny.

We met at the Bier Garten. Had a few beers. Then we went back to his place. I spent the night. We had a nice day together. Went to lunch. He's so freakin nice. Really sweet. But not a total pushover. He wants a long term relationship. We shall see. I'm going over tomorrow for dinner (he's cooking me dinner...two gold stars).

Stacey asked me to come over tonight. I said no...I'm not going to be available every time he asks me to come over. Mark wanted me to come over and watch football today. I didn't go. I was supposed to meet this guy Mike from POF today...but I didn't pick up the phone. I'm awesome.

Looking forward to spending time with Kyle tomorrow.

Seriously want to stab an ice pick through my ear..

Fuck. So I met this guy Anthony on POF. He's hot, tattoos, plays music, great body, great face. He's a freakin nut job. I just got off the phone with him after an hour and a half conversation and I about threw the phone across the room. I literally tried to get off the phone with him for 45 minutes but he kept saying oh this bullshit that bullshit. Then he had me check out his website for auto detailing. I don't give a fuck about your god damn website. Then he had me look him up on youtube. Yeah him playing to guitar by himself at practice. Not even like cool on stage rock star shit. Freakin crap. I will NEVER pick up the phone when he calls again. So he's talking the whole freakin time because those are the kinds of guys I seem to attract. He kept going on about this and that. He's in Orlando right now because he wasn't sure where he wanted to move. But him and his roommate are moving to North Port (which isn't anywhere near me). Oh and his roommate is 18. The man's 40! Oh and his ex girlfriend that he just broke up with was 18 too. WTF. This guy hasn't a clue that he's a total mess of shit. Ugh!

Phew okay had to get that off my chest. I seriously wanted to start screaming you are a freakin loser I don't care about all the "cool" people you hung out with once upon a time. I don't care that you just "liquidated" your assets and the only vehicle you have right now is your work van. You're full of horse shit you loony tune.

Ugh. Okay off that horse. I talked with a really nice man named Kyle today on the phone. Of course I met him on POF. He's 40, owns his own scuba shop, has a kid, is divorced, isn't the most handsome man on earth but there's something about him. Incredibly funny. I'm supposed to meet him Monday.

Meeting Mike from POF tomorrow for dinner. He's a motivational speaker or some shit like that. He's cute but I don't think we're going to click. But I'm interested in finding out. :)

Bart! Old school internet crush reappears

So Bart a man I met on myspace years ago...before myspace was big and well before facebook came to being. We used to talk online and did so for months. We met once or twice but that was that. Well on POF last night I get a message from him. I almost fell over!! I could not believe he was actually there in my inbox. The internet is a very small place. I'm still floored that he emailed me on there.

Here are our emails...from last to first.

From: ***** (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:hi :) Sent Date: 1/12/2010 11:58:00 PM

Ditto. :D

From: ********* Maximus (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:hi :) Sent Date: 1/12/2010 11:56:21 PM

Likewise sweets! 727.***.****
Now i can go to sleep with a smile on my face. You made my day....lol


From: ****** (View Profile)
Subject: RE:hi :) Sent Date: 1/12/2010 11:53:45 PM


Yeah anytime you need a makeup session you just let me know. lol

Wow that's probably the best name I've heard in a long time...beautiful.

That's right it was...Catches or something like that...right?? I'm seriously in shock right now...Go POF!

Yes...let's play catch up...give me a call or shoot me a text anytime 321.***.****.

From: ****** Maximus (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi :) Sent Date: 1/12/2010 11:50:14 PM


Wow! Impressive :) Good for you Andie! Maybe I will come by for a make up session one day...lol

Nothing much has been happening in my life since my divorce. Raising my 4 year old daughter on my own. Her name is Scarlett Krina (Red Lilly). Other than that, I work for a medical software company in Clearwater. And in my spare time I still like to hang out with friends and travel, and play soccer.

I still cannot believe it's been so long. I think the last time i saw you was at this restaurant in new port richey...on the water.......crap i forgot it's name.

Would love to catch up one of these days with you. I always thought you were one cool chick.


From: ****** (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi :) Sent Date: 1/12/2010 11:43:14 PM

Yeah I moved from Orlando as well.

How do you enjoy being a daddy? How olds your child? Boy/Girl?

Thank you Bart...you look incredibly handsome like before. :)

I'm a makeup artist living in Tampa with a good friend.

What are you up to these days?


From: ***** Maximus (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:hi :) Sent Date: 1/12/2010 11:39:24 PM

I've been well too. I moved from Orlando. I got married, then divorced. And I am a single dad. Gotta love life! lol

Well...you look astonishing as you did before...if not more.

So what do you do now?

--Bart


From: ***** (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:hi :) Sent Date: 1/12/2010 11:36:58 PM

Yes! I think you're right...I was in Orlando at the time.

I've been well...yourself?


From: ******** Maximus (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:hi :) Sent Date: 1/12/2010 11:35:41 PM

Holy shit! It is you...isn't it??? That was so long ago. I think we talked on spam or something. I saw you and i was like...is it her or not...so I figured I drop u a line.

How could i forget your face....hell no.

How have you been?

--Bart



From: ***** (View Profile)
Subject: RE:hi :) Sent Date: 1/12/2010 11:30:53 PM


I know you!!

Okay let's try that again...I know we've talked online before...but a few years ago...I know that 2007 picture...Now where the heck do I know you from!?


From: ******* Maximus (View Profile)
Subject: hi :) Sent Date: 1/12/2010 10:08:11 PM


Hello :)

I stumbled upon your profile and I
must say it is rather
intriguing. I hope this finds you
well and in good spirits.
Perhaps we can talk
sometime................

TTYL,

--B--

P.S.

What brings you to this website if
I may ask?

What men want to know..

So I received this email from a man today on plentyoffish.com...

Hey there! By the way I'm in Orlando right now but will be moving to Tampa area. I need your opinion on something. The reason I need your opinion is because you are one of the few attractive women I have found on here who I feel can give me an honest opinion without being bias. I say this because you don't know me and I don't know you so, there is nothing to hide or gain. Right?

Okay! So, does it matter what kind of vehicle a guy drives? If a guy drives an expensive sports car is it more attractive than say a guy who is driving something very common than most men have? A guy who lives in a house or an apartment and both are very clean of course? Also what body type on a man is more attractive to you physically. Muscular? athletic? average? or thin? I don't think any women would prefer an overweight man so, it's not on the list and if you do prefer a larger man my apologies to you.

Alright! This question is probably on every guy's mind even if he knows not to ask but for my personal knowledge I will ask it with decency of course. Do women in your opinion prefer a man who is well endowed or average? Also in your opinion does the length of time in the bedroom matter more than what is actually performed in that length of time? Sorry if these last few questions offended you or embarrassed you as it's not my intention to be rude in my email to you only to know more about women and their minds.

It may seem like some very personal questions but I assure you they are just general and curious questions that I would like answered by a women herself and not some "How to pick up chicks in 10 days" article written by some clever entrepreneur trying to take advantage of the general male population. Hopefully you understand and realize by this part of my email that I'm sincere and not some perverted guy looking for a cheap thrill.

I have done well in the dating field and have dated some very attractive women and some of them have been featured in major publications that I cannot mention due to privacy acts. Each women that I ask these questions to have varied answers and so it helps me as a current single man to know what women are truly wanting when seeking a partner. Relationships would be so much more sincere if us men and women just communicated better.

Thank You sincerely and I look forward to your response.

Ashton-


Here's my response...

Hey Ashton!

Okay here's as honest as I can get...I think.

About the vehicle: I does matter to an extent. The men I've dated that drive expensive sports cars are usually douche bags with something to prove because either a) they're unattractive and this is the only way a woman will look at them b) their personality blows monkey balls...ie self absorbed pricks that think they're God's gift to women c) both. If a man pulls up in an expensive sports car I usually know it's going to be a one date kind of thing (same with men who have cats...it's weird). However, a man pulling up in a beater is no better. With the world we live in today why on earth would a woman who has a lot to offer a man date someone that can't even afford a decent car? Yeah personality, looks, chemistry and all the other bullsh*tis important but if a man can't afford a decent car there's no way he's going to be able to provide the lifestyle I want.

Home: A clean home in a safe neighborhood is important. I don't care if it's a house, condo or apartment. Yes, I like the idea of a man owning his own home and having that sort of stability but I also like the idea of "us" being able to pick up and move without the headaches of selling, renting or up keep while we're gone. Of course when I first start dating a man and he shows me his place it does affect my opinion...that's just life.

Body: I love a hot body...who doesn't. But it's not a requirement. Although when I date a man with a nicer physique it motivates me to stay in better shape and that's a win/win for everyone involved. ;P I absolutely do not date skinny men. I'm just not attractive to a thin man...never have been never will be. I used to be a chubby chaser but I myself was a bit chubbier at the time (it took me a while to break that cycle once I wasn't a fat kid anymore...but I think I'm over it). Average men are okay as long as they aren't couch potatoes...which is often the case. I like to get out and do things and find that fit men are usually far more active then their not so in shape counterparts. Note I say I like fit men with nice bodies...not bodybuilders or gym rats. I cannot stand a man who is obsessed with his physical appearance and have found the men I have dated that look like that are ****ing crazy pants.

So expensive sports cars, cats and greek god bodies are all signs (to me of course) that a man is a bit insane.

Okay on to the penis. Size does matter to an extent. I do not want a little penis. Average is good as long as it isn't skinny (skinny is the absolute worse!). Well endowed is great (as long as it isn't too big...yes there is such thing). Honestly I have been with average men who were better lovers then men with the huge**** It's all about what they can do...what emotional level we're on...I mean relationship sex with an average man is always going to beat hookup sex with Mr. Huge****

Amount of sex: Quality beats quantity any day of the week. If my lover knows how to get me off and he can do it quick then what the hell do I care if it took 10 minutes or an hour I got my cookie. I do hate when a man gets off first and calls it a day. That does not fly in my bedroom. There are times when I want to make love to my partner and really connect...that usually takes longer in the sack. It really does depend on the person, the relationship, the day I'm having, etc.

I do feel it's incredibly important to note that oral sex is a deal breaker for me. If the man I'm sleeping with isn't good at oral sex or isn't willing to learn I can't date him....period. I have girl friends that wont let their men go down on them (that's their own insane choice) but for me it a major part of the physical side of the relationship.

I recently dated a man that drives a new bmw, owns three homes, took me on vaycay, had a killer body, wasn't in a hurry to start a family, had a nice penis...but I had to get out of the relationship because he would not go down on me. He did like three times the entire time we dated. His excuse was he had a bad experience once that scared him. I knew at that point he was a selfish prick that didn't give a sh*tabout my needs. He literally hit every check on my list except that...I dealt with it for a bit but it ate away (no pun intended) at me. Everything wrong with him came back to that.

Okay well I'm not sure if this is going to help you at all. Feel free to ask more that was kind of fun.

Mind answering a few questions for me???

-What's the first thing you notice about a woman who walks into a room?
-What body type do you find most attractive? Do you date women of other body types?
-Face or body...which is more important?
-How long should a woman wait before she has sex with a man? Be honest...break it down for me...if she sleeps with a guy on the second date you think this...waits a couple weeks you think this...waits over a month you think this...I'm truly interested in hearing how this works?
-Do you think marriage is realistic in the 21st century?

I knew it was too good to be true.

So FF Aaron turned out to be a total prick. I knew it was WAY too good to be true. I don't really talk with him much. We went out on a few dates and that was that. I told him I didn't want to go to the Keys and he was alright with it...in fact I'd go as far as to say he way relieved.

So Mark has been on my ass about hanging out with him. So I caved in last night and decided to do dinner. Then we watched a movie. I spent the night there. No funny business was going on. He did tell me he went and got filler in his cheeks. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with this man. He's a good looking successful man he doesn't need that shit. But he does it. I kind of want to punch him in the throat. What man gets fillers in his cheeks to help promote collagen? I just don't get it.

Um...I think that's all the man news. I'm at my parents for a few days...my dad thinks I'm depressed. I think he's a fucking nut job. He's the reason I'm so fucked up when it comes to men. Also, I'm reading "Why Men Love Bitches". So far it seems a bit obvious in it's advice but it's a somewhat entertaining read.

FF Aaron is coming to see me tonight.

Woohoo Aaron is coming to Tampa to see me today. We're going to see Avatar then dinner. I'm excited to see him again and see if the whole chemistry spark thing is really there or if we made it up in our heads because we're so damn attracted to each other. He asked me to go to Key West with him next week. I'm thinking about going...it'll be fun. We're really annoying kind of cute right now...he's pretty much all that's on my mind and I know I'm the same way for him...because he actually tells me. Total opposite of what I'm used to with a guy. We picture text like all day long...he's too freakin cute. He's coming to my condo today. I'm kind of nervous because I DON'T ever have guys over here...but for some reason I'm cool with him coming.

I see this whole relationship moving incredibly quick...I'm not sure if it's going to burn so hot and quick that it doesn't last...or if maybe we really are going to be something special. I hope it's something special. We shall see.

FF Aaron...he can't be real...pinch me.

Sooo FF Aaron and I met for the first time last night. It was truly a fantastic first date. I mean I really can't imagine this guy being real. He can't be real. Okay so the date...

We met in St. Pete. As soon as we get there we meet in the parking lot and we both just looked at each other. He was so freakin handsome. Way better then his pics. So we walked around for a bit and then decided to go have dinner. During dinner we both were incredibly nervous...he kept touching my arm and looking at me. There was one moment when I just froze...completely lost in his eyes. It was just wow. So we leave and there were these bums outside that asked if they could have our leftovers. We gave it to them...and then there in front of the bums playing music for us...we had our first quick little kiss. It was sweet. We both were like...um...fuck.

So we go to The Bishop Tavern for a drink. We were there for hours just talking, talking, talking. We had our first real long passionate kiss. It was absolutely perfect. He's literally everything I have ever wanted in a man.

He's fucking gorgeous. Great face, fantastic eyes, body to die for. He has a great job (he's a firefighter/emt and a army reserve person). He is close with his family even though they are a bit nutty (per Aaron not me). He loves to touch (hold my hand, touch my leg, just being close). He has tattoos and wants more. He kisses me the most passionate kiss I have ever experience. But he is looking to start a family...and soon. That kind of scares me. I mean...who knows...lightening could strike...but I'm not holding my breath...this really is just too good to be true.

We are going out again tomorrow for our second date. Can't wait to update.

A night with the Brit.

Sooo I went and spent the evening with Stacey the Brit last night. Wow he's freakin charming. He can talk the panties off a nun. But I held strong...for now. When I walked in the door he laid a big one on me. I literally got weak in the knees. We ended up watching a few movies having a beer. I wonder if he's going to call. I know he talked a good game about spending more time together...bullshit bullshit bullshit. I think he forgets we went through this already. He's supposedly in Nebraska for a few days. Updates to come with him...if they happen.

I'm meeting Mike POF tonight at Bar Louie...should be interesting. I think he's going to be exactly like Mark. We shall see.

I'm meeting FF Aaron tomorrow in St. Pete. Holy fuck me he's insanely good looking. Soooooo excited to meet him.

Updates to come.

Eh Bill 40 Oldmar...not so hot

So I went on my date yesterday with Bill POF 40 Oldsmar. He was not exactly...um...good looking. He was actually kind of unattractive. Once again the once face pics...he lucked into that one. Blah. We did have a good time...but I'm not sure I'll date him again. He kind of annoyed me when ordering. He asked what I was going to get...I said a salad. He asked once again I said I'm thinking about a salad. Then he finally asked well would you like to share a pizza. What the fuck dood I just said I want to order a salad. So he said let's split a pizza and salad. Kind of annoyed me. He gave me a psychology test on our date...kind of weird...but also helped break the ice a bit. Here it is:

Write the first color that comes to mind. YELLOW.
Now list 3 adjectives that describe this color. HAPPY, BRIGHT, SMILIE.
Write your favorite animal. UNICORN.
Now list 3 adjectives that describe this animal. MAGICAL, PRETTY, AWESOME.
Write your favorite body of water. OCEAN.
Now list 3 adjectives that describe this water. MASSIVE, SCARY, PEACEFUL.
Now imagine you're in a room by yourself sitting in a chair in the middle of the room. Everything in this room is white, the ceiling, the floors, the walls, the chair...everything. Now list three words that describe how you feel. ALONE, ENTERTAINED, CONFUSED.

Here's what I wrote means.

The color is how I see myself. HAPPY, BRIGHT, SMILIE
The animal is how other people perceive you. MAGICAL, PRETTY, AWESOME.
The water is how you feel about sex. MASSIVE, SCARY, PEACEFUL.
The description of the room is how you feel about death. ALONE, ENTERTAINED, CONFUSED.

I thought it was fun...he swears that psychologist used to use that when first admitting patients. Not sure if I believe that. But still fun.

I'm supposed to go out with Stacey the Brit tonight. We shall see. I haven't seen him in months...like six months. In fact the last time I saw him we slept together and then we never saw each other again. What the fuck am I going to go out with him again?? I'm not going to sleep with him again. But I've lost a bit of weight and look so much better then when we were hanging out. I kind of want to rub it in his face.

So on POF...I started talking to FF Aaron. He's fucking hot. I mean hello hottie what the fuck are you doing online...you're hot and a firefighter. So we were going back and forth all night with the texts and pic mail. He did say he's looking to find that last girl he ever dates. That's kind of scary but I can't help but talk with him. He's really sweet too. We'll see.

Sunday Funday

It's Sunday Funday. I'm having lunch with Bill POF 40 Oldmars today. This is our first time meetings. I'm excited and kind of nervous. No idea how it's going to turn out. I'm thinking I'm going to keep my outfit low key...but I don't want it to be so low key he's like um yeah she didn't even try. Ugh first dates that you actually want to succeed as stressful.

If our date going to shit my friend Jack is going to be up at Bar Louis (met Jack on POF several months ago...).

There's one guy on line that really has peaked my interest. He's around my age, is a political writer, works near me, is into music, I believe has tattoos, facial hair...pretty much everything I dig in a guy but not a scumbbag like most of the doods I date with facial hair. I'm sure you will here more about him...soon...I hope.

He deleted me from facebook. lmfao

Too funny. Mr. Mark deleted me from Facebook. That cracks me up.